Monday, March 1, 2010

A Risky Dream


"Is my imagination running away or is...
all this really happening to me?
Am I a prince in a far away land filled with fantasy?
Where is reality and what are the actions that will define who I am?
I am holding on to the visions I've seen of what I could be.
More than it seems these dreams inside (show me the way to these dreams)
Blur reality's line (till there's nothing left of me)
If I could believe the dreams aside (show me the way to these dreams)
I am capable of more than it seems.
Passing through darkness into my own world.
Will I be more than when I left?
Never letting go of the lessons I learned.
This will make a change.
A change within me.
This time I won't run away.
I found the strength to face these long days.
This time I won't run away.
Till there's nothing left of me
Show me the way to these dreams."

There was this day last week when I was making breakfast and the sun was just starting to rise in this sort of beautiful pink way and it began reflecting off all of the millions of pieces of frost that were falling from the trees and the result was so stunning that I had to go sit out on my step and just watch it happen. There I was, surrounded by a world of glittering iridescent light that could only be possible via the Creator of Beauty. It was breathtaking in the way that beauty is. In the way that you know you can't hold it or capture it you can only be a part of it. It was for me, one of those moments where heaven meets earth for just a little bit and there are these audible echoes of Eden and these believable rumors of Glory and for that nano second of time I'm not caught in between.

I'm there.

I thought of this song as I was watching God work a miracle in my front yard that morning. I thought of how possible everything seemed just then. I thought about "the actions that define who I am" and how I want to hold on to "the visions of what I could be...what I should be."

Eventually I had to go back inside and finish making breakfast (and to warm up), but I was so eager to go back out and just be in that amazing world. When the kids were on the bus and I had a few minutes before work I shot out the door with excitement and ran out into the snow, but I found myself standing in the middle of all that fallen frost with the average, ordinary winter sun much higher in the sky. The newly created colors were gone. The crystal shower was over. The magic had ended.

The world has a way of doing that doesn't it? It takes a heart of great risk to believe in the possibility that "I am capable of more than it seems" for longer than a moment or two. The demands of life tear at the edges of our dreams and all too soon we realize that Narnia (the movie that inspired the song) or Narnia on earth anyway isn't really, real. Or at least it doesn't feel real, which, is essentially the same thing in this case.
But on my way to work I listened to the song again anyway. Just because. For the first time I really heard the second verse and understood it. "Will I be more than when I left...this will make a change. A change within me." Hmmm... not a change within the world. Not something everyone will see or understand. The tree's limbs will still be bare and the sun will not sink back to recreate the morning light... but I will have changed for having seen it. The change will have been within me.

There's risk in that. There's risk in believing the dream and allowing it to "blur the lines of reality". Because it requires a lot of letting go of what I thought was real. I guess that's why the song says "Till there's nothing left of me ... show me the way to these dreams."

I guess that's what life is. It's a constant unveiling of reality which turns out in the end to have been the dream all along. That's the whole point... this life... being "More than it seems." (Click here to see video)

Today I am challenged to not let the schedule or the responsibility or the distractions keep me from living the dream of reality. Today I am challenged to share that with a world who so desperately needs it... one random interaction at a time. And today, I will take a long moment to meet with my Savior and thank Him for being so real and for effecting a real change in me!


Faith Imagined said...

Absolutely beautiful post! I want to know that, "I am capable of more than it seems". You have encouraged and inspired me!

Karen said...

Beautiful post. I know I have heard this song before (my daughter is a huge fan of the movie), but have never really listened to the words. Those are some deep, soul searching words.

Beautiful picture you painted with words of the sight you saw in the morning. I think sometimes we get glimpses of these and then the realization that they are fleeting to remind us that this is not our home. There is something better...something more to long for...waiting for us that believe.

Blessings to you...

Deborah Ann said...

This was so beautifully penned! Not just breathtaking to read, but thought-provoking, and so much to dwell on...