Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Hearing voices

There's a pestering voice inside my head that likes to ask the most impractical questions or suggest the most impossible ideas.

Things like:

"Why not convince Steve to quit his job and move to Hawaii where you can open an island bistro together?"

"We should start a new church!"

"A pet monkey couldn't be that bad could it?"

Usually I shake my head at this inner voice and leave well enough alone. Still, I have to smile a little at this side of myself that still likes to envision the world through the irredescent streamers that hung inside my childhood bedroom window. There just beyond the bows of the towering maple tree that practically reached inside my room, anything seemed possible.

She's not very practcal though, the voice inside my head. She doesn't see things as they really are. She doesn't see obstacles or respect certain social rules. She heeds no warning and takes insane risks. You really can't listen to anything she says.

Lately, she keeps asking me the same thing. "Why don't people just do things that they enjoy? Spend time on things that make them happy, fulfilled, satisfied? Why do people spend so much time doing stuff that makes them crabby?"

I try to reason with her. Well, because people have to work. They have responsibilities. And because, sometimes what we enjoy isn't good for us. Sometimes we have to make ourselves find satisfaction in what we have been given to do.

She rarely buys it. I don't know why I thought she would this time.

"But like, couldn't you find time to do SOME more of the things that you enjoy, IF they're things that are okay with God?"

Hmmm.... she might have a point.

I've been asking myself this question alot lately. There is SO much that I love to do in this world. I LOVE to try a new and totally impractical recipe. I love taking a long and indulgent walk in the country, just my ipod and me, and no stop watch and no time goal. I love a glass of wine and a good book in the bathtub. I love wearing shorts and a baseball cap when it's 50 degrees and spring is still a bit of a dream. I love a cat nap in the sun on the couch in the middle of the afternoon. I love a good massage, an afternoon in the bookstore, and a cup of hot tea on the patio.

Sure...there are bathrooms to clean, laundry to fold, and appointments to be made and kept. There are phone calls to return and quick meals to prepare and concerts, games and performances to attend. All this not to mention work and family. But, I can see that my little voice is making a good point. Now perhaps is not the time to visit the Caribbean. This day it will not work to hike through a rainforest or flip a house or start a new business. But, surely everyday there can be time made to indulge a little. To really LIVE life. To not only glorify God, but to ENJOY Him, as the catechism says.

I suppose it's a bit late for resolutions this year, but as I morph from 34 to 35 I want to do it with this thought in mind... maybe, just maybe, not everything that little voice inside my head comes up with is as far out of reach as I think. Maybe I should listen to her a bit more. And definately I'm taking her advice on this one. Everyday should include some time to just do what I enjoy.


Faith Imagined said...

This is a much needed to post and fun to read. Your little voice has me cracking up!

Traci Michele said...

I think, as women, we need to find things that we enjoy doing, and do them! As long as they don't interfere with our primary duties.

Fun post! Thanks.

Jennifer @ Getting Down With Jesus said...

Let's just call the Merry Maids and have a full week of walks, tea, massages, wine, naps, etc.

Well, that's what the voices are telling me anyhow! (I've also dreamed of a pet monkey, by the way...)

patty said...

I'm glad the voice in your head is telling you happy, fun things...we don't want a smeagol/gollum thing goin' on.

Deborah Ann said...

Nicely said! All of the things you said you enjoy doing, I do too. It's important to enjoy the things God has given us, and not rush through our life on a speeding train. You are so talented in your writing!

gail said...

I didn't know you were here! I'm so glad you looked me up. hugs

Qtierney said...

I love this post a lot. I was actually thinking about almost the same thing the other day. There was laundry to fold. . .a quilt to finish cutting out. . .rooms to clean. . .cello to practice. . .but there was also a perfect pool of sunlight just inside my bedroom window, and it was calling to me. . .so sweetly. So I moved all my piles of books to the floor (increasing the mess instead of curing it. . .oh well), climbed up on my dresser, and wrote a letter to a friend instead. It's good to use our time wisely, but if we get so caught up in efficiency that we forget to enjoy God and His good creation (like you said). . .maybe it's time to take some time out and bask in it a bit. :)

(long comment, sorry -- you inspire me so much I can't shut up. ;))

Karen said...

What a great post. Sometimes I feel like I am living from one thing on my to-do list to the next thing on my to-do list. Sometimes I want to do something not on the list...hidden between the numbers on the list...a desire in my live and enjoy this life that God has blessed us with. This post is inspiring!